This filthy little Gnome is making business on the front lawn! He just loves to do his thing whenever and wherever he feels it’s appropriate. Everyone stares at our lawn and gasps in shock to see what’s going on next to the gardenia bush. I’ve asked him several times to stop and even beat him with a broom. I guess it’s gonna take the lawnmower to get that nasty pervert out of my life. The family is definitely disturbed by this traumatic problem but I’m sure with a little therapy and time, things will be back to normal. Either that or I’ll take a chainsaw to every Gnome in the neighborhood.